What do you do when life throws you a curveball? You are going along, everything is planned and neatly organized, and then WHOOSH! At that point, what begins to happen? How do you react, solve, and cope? And what are you doing consciously versus what have you always done? Your reactive habits versus full awareness of the situation.
This happened to me recently when traveling. My car rental had issues, and my thoughts and nervous system immediately were out of whack. The cycle of fight, flight, or freeze mode kicked in. For me, it was the fight. Not that I wanted to fight; I just wanted to fix the problem ASAP. My heart rate went up, and I gripped through my shoulders and hands. Hello, body wanting to take control since life felt uncontrollable. When I finally came back to a steady state, I was exhausted.
This rollercoaster of physical reactions in my body, emotions in my mind, and the replaying of what happened left me drained. I want to do things differently next time. To evolve how I react. Through reflection and writing in my journal, I listed out five steps to try when I’m faced with the next challenging situation.
Take a deep breath and pause when issues arises. Remember, I don’t need to immediately react or fix a situation. Let myself create some space from the issue and myself.
Once my breathing is regulated, I know my mind is clearer to think. Now is the time to reassess the situation. Plus, by creating space between me and the situation, I can take it less personally.
Slow down and get more information. With more information, I can look at the situation from multiple perspectives and develop various scenarios.
Take the emotions out of it. Let myself become more stable and thoughtful. While this may take time, in the long run, it expends less energy, leaving me less exhausted.
Run through all possible solutions rather than jumping to conclusions. When we have options, it immediately gives us a feeling of choice over what is going on. Plus, remembering we have options reminds us we can solve it.
"Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there." This Rumi quote reminds me that there isn’t just one way of looking at challenges or a binary way to solve problems. There is value in stepping back and reassessing rather than reacting impulsively. Taking the time to find a broader perspective in difficult situations. Focusing on connection, understanding, and even empathy - not only for myself but also for those involved in the challenges I face.
