In December I posted 12 days of reflections from the past year on Instagram. The first post was about giving and receiving.
Life is both giving AND receiving. Time, energy, help, love, resources - all of it flows both ways. This exists in external relationships and the relationship with ourself. When I feel depleted, I’ll ask myself where I am giving too much and where I am not receiving enough. Recognizing what is off-balance AND adjusting can help us have better days, fulfilling relationships, improved well-being and more. Remembering to speak up for your needs, ask for help and set healthy boundaries. Being your own giving/receiving champion.
I've been giving attention to this a lot lately. With winter and a new year, I crave rest and intentionality more in life. Remembering time and energy are finite, so where I spend these matters. Most (if not all) relationships and activities aren't fully equal; however, the exchange of energy needs to feel right for you. There needs to be a sense of equilibrium in giving and receiving. For instance, you may not love your job; however, it gives you money and other benefits by having it. You may not enjoy cleaning (I definitely don't!); however, a clean house creates calm, so it is worth it. Consider areas in your life. What are fulfilling and in alignment? What is off-balance?
We individually define what the value is that we need to receive. This could be anything from money to feelings of joy to a goal accomplished. I've come to realize there are two types of giving and receiving—one based on ego and one on the soul. Alongside questioning whether an action, intention or relationship allows me to give and receive the necessary amounts for my well-being, I also ask: Is this for my ego or my soul? This adds a layer of depth and authenticity, and where it gets really juicy! Sure, my ego would love no wrinkles or grays, yet my soul knows being healthy and having the privilege to age is much more important.
I offer three ways for you to check in on the exchanges of energy in your life:
1: Be present. The first step in bringing more awareness to where you are giving and receiving is to be in the moment. Put your full attention (reduce that multitasking!) on what is happening right in front of you.
2: Listen to what your body is saying. Do certain people or things give you the ick or drain your energy? Are there others that fill your cup and light you up? Tune into your physical responses - a pit in your stomach, your heart feeling squeezed, a loss of your voice or clenching your jaw. Also, resonate responses - feeling relaxed and more open, especially through the front of your body. A softening. Your body shows a lot of wisdom and truth.
3: Journal or meditate on the information. Notice what is happening and think deeply about it with honesty and vulnerability. Break out of the habitual patterns and ask yourself these questions. Does this feel like an equal or acceptable exchange of energy for me? Am I being intentional, or is this my typical pattern? Is my engagement driven by my ego or soul?
With this new awareness comes the challenging task of accepting what no longer serves you and making a change. Plus knowing what does light you up and investing more time there. Contemplate how you can bring yourself into alignment. First comes recognition, followed by a realization of self-worth and the courage to take action. Remember, you are 100% worthy of relationships where you feel balanced, fulfilled, appreciated and whole. Considering all that you put out into the world, what do you want to receive in return? Thoughts to create more harmony in your life.
