I hit a big milestone this week - over 200 hours of coaching. In the last 2.5 years, I’ve had the opportunity to coach 58 people on a wide range of topics - from career growth and leadership to life transitions and mindfulness.
When I first started, I had serious doubts. Could I really help people? Would this be sustainable? Would I be good enough? These questions were heavy for me and I was filled with uncertainty. And while I still have a lot to learn and improve upon, with each session and person I gain confidence. I continue to learn from my clients, and grow as a coach. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished and am celebrating this win.
As I reflect, I want to share some of the most impactful lessons from partnering with others. These have shown up many times, regardless of age, gender, job role, or location. I think they are universal, accessible, and can help guide most of us on our personal or professional journey.
No One Is Going to Do the Work for You. Personal and professional growth is all about taking responsibility for yourself. It’s about embracing the discomfort of change and committing to the work that growth demands. Whether you’re trying to advance in your career, improve your relationships, or deepen your self-awareness, you must be willing to challenge yourself, question old patterns, and accept that growth often comes with some messiness. Yes, a coach is there to support you and keep you accountable. However there is no magic wand for change - you have to be ready to do the inner and outer work.
Slow Down and Go Deep. In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to stay on the surface, dealing with symptoms rather than root causes. But real growth happens when you slow down and start looking beneath the surface. One powerful tool I often recommend is the “5 Whys” technique—asking yourself “why” five times to get to the root of an issue. Question your patterns and habits and slow down while doing so. There is no deadline for change, it can take as long as you need. This practice helps you uncover deeper insights and fosters a more profound understanding of what’s really going on in your life.
Establish a Non-Negotiable Self-Reflection Practice. Self-reflection is key for long-term growth. Whether it’s through journaling, meditation, gratitude, contemplative walks, or simply sitting in stillness, make self-reflection a non-negotiable part of your daily routine. This practice helps you stay connected to your inner world, process your experiences, and gain clarity on your path forward. It also helps you get comfortable with who you are and I personally think love yourself and your own company a little more.
Know Your Core Values and Align Them with Your Goals. Understanding your core values is crucial, especially when you start to lose motivation or feel lost. When you’re clear on what matters most to you, it becomes easier to set and pursue goals that are aligned with those values. Your core values serve as a compass, guiding you through life’s challenges and helping you make decisions that are true to who you are. I often reflect back on my own 5 core values when I'm feeling stuck on what to do next, both personally and professionally.
Mindset Is Key. The stories we tell ourselves have a powerful impact on our lives. Are the narratives playing in your head helping you or holding you back? Are they keeping you stuck in the past, or are they opening up possibilities for the present and future? The words we use, both in our minds and out loud, shape our reality. By becoming aware of these stories and learning to reframe them, you can unlock new levels of growth and self-compassion. One of my favorite questions to ask clients is, "Is this a story or a fact?" and if it is a story, get curious on why it is in your head. Can reframe and rewrite the story to a new, more positive perspective?
Get Comfortable with Being Vulnerable and Letting Go. Vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a strength. It takes courage to open up, be honest about your fears, and trust others. It’s in these moments of vulnerability that real connection and growth occur. Letting go of control and allowing yourself to be seen, flaws and all, is where true transformation happens. Brené Brown is a favorite of mine and she has so many science-backed resources on learning about and practicing courageous vulnerability. Also, if you can't be vulnerable with your coach, therapist, mentor, advisor - it is time to find a new one.
Below is a picture of me taken in fall 2022 at an Executive Coaching conference at UC Berkeley. I remember attending and feeling quite inferior honestly. This journey has been a learning experience for me as much as it has been for my clients. These lessons have shaped the way I coach and live my life, and I hope they resonate with you too. If nothing else, celebrate your own recent accomplishments and what you've learned.
