Do you ever get really great ideas? Something that excites you with a spark and a surge of energy in your body. Then the more you think about it, reasons pop up why it isn't such a great idea. Not having enough time, doubting the idea’s brilliance, worrying about looking silly, or even fearing failure. These are examples of self-limiting beliefs, the deep-seated convictions that have us say no to our dreams, pass on exciting opportunities, hinder our growth, or stay stuck.
Self-limiting beliefs include those we are aware of and those beneath the surface. These self-imposed limits can stem from stories we heard growing up, in school, through media, or societal stereotypes and biases. Over time, these beliefs become increasingly rooted and ingrained in who we are and how we live. They keep us in negative thought patterns, unhealthy relationships, low self-confidence, and ultimately prevent us from living our best lives. In short, self-limiting beliefs suck.
Scarcity is one of my own self-limiting beliefs. I'll get anxious that there isn’t "enough" to go around - whether it’s money, success, clients, freedom, love, or something else. I fall into this mindset and a few things happen. Feelings of competition arise (with others or even with myself). Comparison, the thief of joy, rears its ugly head. And I hesitate. I avoid taking chances on things I truly want to do. Sadly, this can result in missing opportunities and feelings of regret.
If your own self-limiting beliefs hold you back, one way to move through them is shadow work. From Carl Jung, shadow work involves bringing unconscious parts of ourselves to the surface. Not letting the beliefs stay buried or control our lives. Acknowledging the not-so-nice stories and changing the narrative around them. While shadow work can be deeply transformative, sometimes the support of a counselor or therapist is helpful.
Self-awareness is the first step. Begin by identifying what your limiting beliefs are (like my scarcity mindset). Ask, is this a story you're telling yourself, or is it a fact? If it’s a story, where does it originate? How can you prove that story wrong? Can you look at it from a new perspective? Can you rewrite it using facts and actions?
Manifestation comes from what we believe about ourselves and is effected by the limits we hold. As you explore the shadowy parts of you, how can you alter those limits? Tell yourself you are a successful, capable, brilliant, and worthy person. Affirmations in the mirror are powerful in shadow work. As you believe in these qualities, and feel them in your body, you start to see the world differently. Taking advantage of new opportunities and manifesting toward what you want. For me, instead of focusing on scarcity I try to approach life from a place of gratitude. This goes beyond writing in a gratitude journal. It's reflected in the language I use, the things I do daily, and how I interact with others. It even shows up in the risks I take and envisioning results aligned with my desires and dreams.
Another technique is talking to your shadows. Give your self-limiting belief a snarky name to take away its power! Imagine sitting across from and telling it how it doesn't support your growth. While you acknowledge it will always be there, make it clear it no longer has control over your life. Confront it, engage with it, and understand it. Learn how to integrate it without letting it dominate your actions and path forward.
Shadows never truly go away. Without darkness, there is no light. That doesn’t mean we can't rewire our mindset to change. The goal is to acknowledge our self-limiting beliefs, accept our shadows, take power over them, and move forward. Living with who you are and to stop talking yourself out of your great ideas!
